“I don’t want to be tied down to someone, I want to be set free with them.”
I get a lot of reaction when I tell people that I am dating someone that is 900 miles away. I get more of a reaction when I tell them that we are running a webpage together. Mostly a lot of “you’re insane,” “how did that even happen,” and “how do you make it work?”
I’m not gonna lie and tell you it’s an easy adventure together, it’s quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I mean we are on a constant emotional roller coaster when we are apart and an awestruck romance when we are together. When I say emotional roller coaster I mean like imagine dating a girl that is having constant PMS mood swings. I really don’t know if I should act happy because I am so lucky in love, sad because my best friend is gone or frustrated because it is so hard. It’s hard to adjust from seeing someone everyday to texting during work breaks and an occasional phone date. But we know in our hearts that we are supposed to make this work, we have so many dreams together and we are ready to conquer this little relationship road bump. So we can be set free together.
So, whether you are traveling a lot and away from your other half or you know you’re supposed to be with someone who is just out of reach. Here are our 5 tips on how to make the distance work!
- Cut out time for “date nights”
So obviously we cannot have dates like normal couples, which is one of the hardest parts of long distance. Each week we figure out when we both have a free night together. These are our date nights, we make sure that we are one hundred percent free, and by this I mean we are not doing homework or running errands we are just dedicated to each other. These are my favorite nights, because I know that I have my best friends full attention without any side frustrations from work or communication misinterpretations from texts. Usually we lose track of time and before we know it we have been on the phone (or Face Time) for 3 or 4 hours.
- The surprises!
Complete long distance perk. Yeah sure in normal relationships there’s romance and surprises that sweep you off your feet. But receiving a surprise from my man after I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks truly takes my breath away. We usually do some little small things like once a week and when we are feeling real crazy we have even done a surprise visit. I cannot describe to you the feeling of jumping into your loves arms after thinking you still have to go two more weeks of not seeing them. My favorite small surprise is letters! I think that letter writing is so personal and such a dying art. When we first started dating I made him 20 “Open When..” letters and I try to hide him a letter every time I leave his house. This is something that he will always have, if he is lonely one night I have fallen asleep before him (which is a frequent) then he can go back to one of these.
- Find your “happy-place”
I mean you should probably just go ahead and do this even if you’re not in a long distance relationship. Because doing this has improved so many different aspects of my life. Finding that one thing that genuinely takes out your frustration or just clears your mind is the best medicine one can have! That’s all there is to it. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, journaling, or even driving for hours blasting some music. Find it and take time to use it.
- Understand your partner
This is another tricky aspect of the relationship, especially if you start out long distance like we did. It’s hard enough to learn another person while dating traditionally so learning someone in the small pieces of time that you have is even harder. Patience is key… I do not have patience… so this is like a double learning process for me. Learn in the beginning how your partner reacts to emotions because no one else is going to understand what they’re going through except you. Andrew and I are polar opposites when dealing with our emotions so it took us a bit to understand when to be there versus when to step back.
- Value your time together
Managing the small amount of time you get to see each other in person is very important. If you’re like Andrew and have family at one of the locations, try and plan out your time with them before hand. This was a hard concept for us to get because you have to find that line between managing your time and making your visit seem too “agenda based.” Family is one of the most important things in life, and taking just a few hours out of your day to visit will mean the world to them.
And along with managing your time, if you have any unresolved issues or uncomfortable discussions, have a quick phone call before your visit. It is easy to bring up unresolved issues now that you have a more captive audience. Trust us; don’t waste your time with pettifoggery (really wanted an excuse to use that word). Do anything and everything to resolve any prior conflicts or awkward moments before you see each other, even if it means talking on the phone for hours. Seeing the smile on your sweetheart’s face when you finally see them in person is well worth staying on the phone a few extra minutes, in order to find a solution to a misunderstanding.
On a lucky note for me, Andrew is coming here in 16 days. We are gonna do a super fun winter adventure… we both hate cold so we will see how it goes. Look out for the post 🙂
2 Responses
Come to LA and the three of us can hate the cold together!!
This is great! Thanks for the tips! I have a LD relationship since 2 years. It’s hard, but certainly worth it 🙂